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CeeNova

Gone
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I might take this down after a hot minute, but until then~

I just wanted to say hi on my old account! I've been active on dA on my SFW and NSFW accounts respectively, but I thought of my old account and thought I'd stop in to say hello and give some links. I'd love to see all my old pals again! :iconheavenlydelicacies: is my NSFW and :icondorkydestined: is my SFW. I hope to see you guys there!
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Hey guys! I'm still preparing to leave, I'm just trying to get art taken down/info removed and getting in contact with people still--it's a very long process. I'm sorry if I haven't gotten to your messages yet, but I will soon! I'm just trying to take care of this, prepare for writing competitions, helping Jazz get his monetized YouTube Let's Play channel started, getting ready to move out into another city, and transferring to a new college. It's all very stressful so I hope you can understand!

Once again, I love all of you so much and I thank you all for your kindness--if you'd still like to get in contact with me since I'm leaving, please let me know! Take care. :)

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Leaving

3 min read
Hey there, everyone! Long time no see. :) I have a sad but important announcement to make--I am permanently leaving dA. I love all the friends I've made here and I'm going to miss them very much, but my time here is over. I may start over fresh someday on a new account, but I definitely won't be returning to this one unless it's to save the art I put in storage and such. You all have been here to love and support me through so much, and I can't thank you enough for all that you've done for me. 

For those that would wish to remain in contact, send me in a note and I'll see what I can do. :) I'd love to stay in contact with some of my close friends, so I'll check up on here periodically to make sure I see who wants to stay in contact. 

I hope you can understand this a very personal decision based on my educational and career related life. I will probably be contacting those who have made art for me inquiring for them to remove the pieces soon--in fact Jazz will be helping me save everything in bulk and send messages out to everyone tonight and tomorrow so I can deactivate soon. I hope everyone can understand. 

I love you all so very much--I'm astounded by the wonderful journey I've had here on dA and all the things we've been through together. Much love to you all, and I promise to never forget you. :heart: Stay strong, my friends!

Edit: As I'm going through saving all my old things and old favorites I'm finding this so emotionally difficult. Though not doing this would be far more emotionally damaging with my anxiety and possibly have ill effects on my future, I feel so much guilt. Soon I'll be deactivating this account, but I'll have all the old art and memories with me forever. I really do love you guys, but I'm doing what I feel is neccessary for my mental health and future. I'm hoping to create a new account in the future, maybe...so maybe we'll all meet again. 

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*Laser Noises*

5 min read
Hey everyone! I'm sorry I've been absent for so long... The summer has been a bit busy for me, but I'm doing my best to get back to the swing of things. I miss seeing all my internet friends! <3

But as for the update itself... I've been alright. My mom has gotten a bit ill, so we've fought less and I've helped take care of her more. I won't go into details, but she's doing a lot better lately thank goodness. I've also been trying to get more college stuff figured out and deciding once and for all where my life will take me as Jazz is figuring out his own things with his job and such. So things are actually going smoothly and I have high hopes for happiness and my dreams coming true!

I've also been doing a lot of body positivity on my Instagram in my free time as well! It's been great to be involved in the community, make new friends and share things that are important to me or make me happy. I've helped some people which has really made me feel good too! I've even found some happiness there myself...I've never really liked wearing jeans (mainly because the ones I can afford always fit ill) but I've done it because I feared wearing dresses and skirts like I wanted. I decided to ditch that BS and now I'm wearing dresses all I want! I only have two things to wear right now, but I'll make it work til I can afford new clothes, haha. I just have to say it's been nice to wear what I want, I feel so beautiful and happy! Not to say I never have issues with insecurities or anything, but being involved in the bodyposi community directly has really helped me learn to appreciate not only my body, but the soul within too. <3 So yay! If anyone is ever interested in seeing what I'm up to on my little Instagram blog thing, just ask and I'll gladly share it with ya! 

Uh... Not much else! I've just been taking care of stuff at home, gone out swimming, went camping with my friends (holy fuck Jazz really is a pyromaniac), been cooking a lot more (Cee is nuts over sweet sweet avocados btw), and going out with Jazz when I can! He's seriously spoiled me lately, haha. :3 I'm hoping we can maybe go to the mall this Friday actually... I know I can't really afford to buy much, but I just browsing and having a chance to walk around all day! Always fun. 

So...yeah! Sorry for my absence and not much has gone on. In the way of art, I've been working on this:  I've been losing interest in it though... I still really like it (especially since it features my two new redesigns Bubblegum Bliss and Lionstorm) but I think I want to move on to other things right now. I've really been considering making an angel 'sona because of how much I adore and connect to angels. I feel like it'd be a good outlet for when I just wanna draw me (well...with a few angelic features) or something of a more healing/angelic nature. Plus for those who dislike drawing furries, I think you'd like making her more, haha. Not to say I'm going to stop drawing Charissa the Porvine! I miss her a lot, so you can expect something new of her soon too. And probably Jazz's new dragonsona as well. <3 He'll probably end up being coupled with the angel!

Also, the angel will probably be just Cee. But I'm also thinking of something involving "Zenith" with her, since I -do- want to differentiate her from my fursona. Zenith could be cool, right? 

Before I go, you should also check out this freaking AWESOME thing my amazing friend binge-chan made for me!

Isn't Bingey just a doll? <3

Welp, that's all for now! Thanks for always loving and supporting me, guys! You're the best. :3 If you have any suggestions for what you might like to see from me, don't feel scared to throw them out there too! <3 Take care, everyone. 


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Just Dance

7 min read
Hey everyone! Hope you're all doing well. :) 

Finals are almost here so I'm busy doing papers and preparing for the tests! While it's kinda stressful right now... I'm very excited to be getting ever closer to the summer break! Thank goodness I don't take summer classes, hehe!

I went to my writing contest! I think I did pretty well. 13000 people in total...I was in the final 60 and obtained seventh place in my conference. I was a little bit disappointed first--I was one place away from earning a medal, and my mom showed her displeasure in person and on FaceBook, then tried to cover it up. I was also scared that I disappointed all the friends who had really believed in me, but they all told me how amazing I did and how proud they were of me--they made me feel like a rockstar, haha! I realized that most people in the competition memorize quotes, literature sparknotes/summaries and excessively train to be totally impeccable... I've never done any of that, I just write from my heart and soul... So while my fear got the best of me for a short while, I realized how rad it was I got that far and did so well despite never training. Medals and titles don't matter--it's the journey and the experience. <3 If someone wants to make me feel bad about not placing, that's THEIR problem, not mine! It's actually lulzy to me that I thought I'd appear as a failure to those that love me--Jazz and my friends. Silly me... You guys are amazing, not assholes!

So yeah. It was a great competition, and I'm going to do my best to get back next year! I just really love writing, hehe. <3 I'm sorry for getting down in the dumps at first though.... T_T Digressing, the trip to Austin was AMAZING. It was a lot of fun--people certainly seem nicer there than in Houston, plus it's so much prettier and full of nature. The food we had was absolutely delicious (red velvet cake to die for omg) and I got to go swimming with Jazz... I even modified my tankini to be a bikini. ^-^ I'm totes deadset on a bikini for the summer now, haha! We also got to go to a beautiful nature park--we hiked across it, saw beautiful flowers and peacocks, made kissy faces after we skipped across a creek and then CLIMBED A MOUNTAIN. I mean...yes, it was a small mountain, but STILL A MOUNTAIN. It was kinda dangerous, but Jazz kept me safe (okay, saved my life like five times) and we were able to climb to its top and see the forest. Definitely an exhilarating experience...plus it gave me a great workout! <3 We also got to go to the mall there and Jazz bought me the cutest Pinkie Pie beanie baby and some of my favorite tea~

So yep...it was definitely a really good time! A fantastic experience all around fer sure... Now I'm just looking forward to summer. Little bit sad because both of my best friends are leaving to Canada and California to see their respective families for the majority of it... But at the very beginning and end of summer, we'll make up for it! :'D I'm just gonna miss them. Thinking of making a summer bucket list though...I don't wanna waste this one! 

So...what are some fun things Jazz and I could go do? Any ideas for our bucket list that we might add if we're interested? :) 

Also, I've been faring well emotionally. My mom and I haven't been fighting too terribly much, and some days I'm still recovering from a bad fight with someone I really love... Plus the longing for my father has been really painful lately (I wrote a really, really sad poem that scared poor Jazz, lol) But Jazz is really helping me through shit and helping me find the light in myself. Sometimes my insecurities crop up about being fat and my fear of gaining any more weight (I'm very content at the weight I'm at and have been at for a few years now, I don't want to lose OR gain anymore...and while I haven't with my current health habits, except minor fluctuations, a visit to a doctor and my mother rekindled my old phobia and body dysmorphia so it's been hard) but my weight has remained the same beautiful number with my body staying the same beautiful shape...plus my bloodwork results came in absolutely perfect on everything. My gyno really hates to admit it, but she thinks I have PCOS though. *shrugs*  As long as I'm healthy, I'm very happy.... I love my body just the way it is (you guys know how much I love my fat) so I really hate when my insecurities and issues try and fuck that up. Plus my health is important to me, and as a firm believer of HAES, it hurts when people automatically try and diagnose me...all the while shaming me. >< I'll be alright though... It actually felt really good to get some of my emotions out in the open here...plus I know someone's gotta feel the same way as me, haha! Thanks for listening to this, I actually didn't intend to write all this, it just sorta flowed out... Though it IS good to vent! I just want to let all of you know I AM okay, and the insecurites are troublesome but fleeting. I'll be alright, and I'm still very positive despite when it happens. I mean...you can't spell awesome without ME! *shot* 

Anyhows, love you all so much. I thank you all for your support, love and understanding. You're all such wonderful friends! :hug: Hope you all like my new art. :meow: Much love, please take care!
My Friends Laugh With Me, Not At Me by Toast435
Also please check out this gorgeous piece made for me out of absolute care and love. Toast is such an amazing artist and friend! :heart:




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Devious Journal Entry by CeeNova, journal

Devious Journal Entry by CeeNova, journal

Leaving by CeeNova, journal

*Laser Noises* by CeeNova, journal

Just Dance by CeeNova, journal